I am a programmer, but I have spent years perfecting disguises that allow me to mingle occasionally with surface-dwellers. With my pale, clammy skin and unnaturally large, light-sensitive eyes, I could never have passed for a productive member of society otherwise.
I live in a small village in the Himalayas in North India, and make a living by projecting an air of calm authority in dire circumstances, such as the imminent demise of your Postgres database.
Away from work, I dabble compulsively — and write with varying levels of expertise and enthusiasm about subjects including Unix, linguistic trivia, bureaucracy, food, and whatever else strikes my fancy.
(There's a subject-wise index; or see everything in chronological order.)
You can write to me at email@example.com