A short while ago, in a forgotten land, lived a fairy. She was, contrary
to popular supposition, not young beautiful and kind, but fat, short,
ugly and severe. Her land was a beautiful land, where everyone worked
together for the good of the land and each other. This poor fairy
protected her people from the charms of the evil, rich witch. The fact
that the witch was evil should tell you all about her. She was a
capitalist witch trying to destroy the economy of the land. Quite unlike
her fiercely communist counterpart, the witch was slim, tall and
beautiful. Several of the more impressionable workers fell under her
spell and gave up their socialist ideals for more worldly ones. Since
only the hard-headed party workers stuck to their ideals, the usually
hard-working nation began to show signs of discord.
The fairy noticed something was amiss when her leprechauns began to show
signs of disobedience and inefficiency, both of which the fairy hated.
Unbeknownst to her, they were falling for the witch and her ideas. The
usually docile leprechauns were fast being transformed into evil little
entrepreneurs, ready to start production of capitalist propaganda
booklets. After certain discreet enquiries, she came to the conclusion
that someone was infringing on her territory. The poor fairy was,
understandably, a member of the fairies' union. What this association
lacked in funds, they made up for in goodwill and organisation. The
fairy appealed to them for help against the rich witch. After lengthy
deliberations, they decided to wage war. A nationwide emergency was
declared and the process of liquidating the witch was begun. Several
enthusiastic young members were overheard by the press saying that
things would soon become too hot for the witch to handle. Of course,
because of the emergency, they could not print this information.
This was not easy. The witch, after such an encouraging response from
this land, had no intention of leaving. She had grown eviller and richer
than ever, and commanded a large army. When she heard rumours about the
attack, she flew in a whole contingent of junior capitalists (Shelved
elves, limp imps, chrome gnomes, evil weevils and gobbling goblins).
The war, like many other wars, was very boring to watch. Though the
fairies' union succeeded in sowing the seeds of discontent among the
workers whose hearts the witch had so insidiously won over, the witch
was strong enough to resist any uprisings. However, when the witch
became old and fat from her profits, the workers drummed her out of the
land. Her refusal to allow them to produce for anyone but herself
shattered their dreams of a free market economy and gave them the
courage to act against her.
After a brief session of massive restructuring, everyone breathed a sigh
of relief at the once more orderly state of the land. The fairy returned
triumphantly to her club, The Antibodies Association, while the witch
and her cohorts plotted revenge at their club, Viruses and Bacilli
Private limited.